Stumble It!
On Growing an Ocean's Tail EXCERPT
Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 08:49PM 3ww prompt: Ache, Difference, Suffer
I began the story Growing An Ocean's Tail a while back to read it from the beginning click here:
Growing An Ocean's Tail. The last post was part II (just scroll down) and this is the third effort to work on the story and it is only an excerpt so you can read it with out reading any previous posts.
La Sirena sketch by marisol diaz
There were days that I felt collided into each other. I would lay on my back in a state of sloth like paralysis and I stared at the ceiling. Layers of my vision overlapped in transparent stacks, shifting constantly. The mattress became placenta and the room a maternal womb. I struggled to imagine the possibility of ever being able to get up again. It felt as though air was leaving me. When I could, I strained to turn my gaze towards the window I was in awe of how quickly the sun rose and set and rose again. It was painful to imagine sitting up. It wasn't until the day I heard the lock rattle and his sweet whistle, that beads of sweat tumbled down my brow and puddled over my lip, beckoning me to move again.
I needed to know what was happening to me, to hear him calling made my entire body ache all over. What had he done to me? How had he done this to me? He immobilized me in order to need him, and I was captured in the net. Is this what had happened to Lily? Had she disappeared not fled? He was all I had and so I had to get up.
"I have the key, I can unlock you from this place all you have to do is say the word." He spoke in sonar as I stood there unsteady staring, trying to place the phonetic beats of his words.
"Where is Lily?"
"What's the difference, where she is?"
He reached his hand through the gate swiping tears of sweat off my forehead coldly. He pressed his head tightly up against the bars.
"Did she really matter that much to you? I can make it so that you can see her again, if you let me take you out of here."
I couldn't make out my emotions, relieved for his arrival yet terrified down to my bones of him. I tried to talk but words began to fail me...my lips felt fused together muted into a frown.
"Tell me to open the gate and I'll show you what happened to your friend."
I used one hand to steady myself and other hand with its shaking fingers to part my lips. I was done fighting.
"Open the gate."
He slipped the iron key through the weathered lock and eased it into action so swiftly that I thought the lock must have had a soul. I thought quickly of my room and my mind fell on the flower...I would most likely never see her again. Somehow I knew that.
I was laying against his chest and I could smell the tanned leather of his vest, hear the rattling of all the seed chains he wore, but I heard no beat. He held me tight at that moment, practically in a restraint. He began to whisper silky words into my ear.
"I didn't want her to suffer, sometimes the girls can suffer much too much and it makes the transition that much harder."
My eyes began to roll towards the back of my head and the sounds of his words began to turn into images, flashes of Lily. I saw it all. They were in a body of water, entwined like lovers, she was excited, joyful and unaware, they swam underwater resurfacing to kiss, the intimacy between them was like sour gummy bears, and then the pulse happened, a flash of dark determination, and I felt her buckle up tense, I saw him grab her head with both of his huge hands and hold her wailing body under water, I felt her kick and jut like a wild horse, when I realized her air was gone, everything went still and I opened my eyes to face him.
Reader Comments (3)
Hello Amaretto Girl~ I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. You kept me captivated throughout. If I had to choose from the three stories this would be my choice. You have a firm grasp on your writing and a mysterious ending that leaves your readers wanting more. I can see this being built on. Well done. Have a nice night.
By the way, is this your artwork? If so, it is really good too.
I looked at all three pieces... It's definitely mysterious... I'm having a tough time placing/seeing the characters in play though, I'm gonna come back and re-read when I'm not zoning out on Benadryl, that might help, LoL!
One thing that really stood out: how the mattress suddenly was like a placenta and the room a womb - loved that bit of imagery!
You've certainly lost none of your power. Excellent writing.